Friday, December 29, 2006
Buzzkill
I had called Dad's gf to see how he was feeling and was planning on taking PrincessNic over to see him tonight. Then I get a call from him and he's pissed off as usual (complains about the house and the car). All he ever does is bitch to me. Can he really get that mad if his friend is an idiot and has been "fixing" the car for the last 6 months? I wish he would have just let me take it to the mechanic when it first broke. I had some extra money back then!
I wish I knew what to do because all I want to do is say, "have a nice life!"
Thought of the Day
I hope the grass is greener on the other side.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Happy Boxing Day
Had to go back to work today. But not before I went to another interview. It was another staffing agency. (blah)
I realized the other day that my life was not living up to its namesake. There just hasn't been enough drama lately. But fret not... Babymama and I threw down real nice last night. We had decided to meet at 8:00 so that I could give PrincessNic back to her. But I couldn't get ahold of her to see where she wanted to meet. Then I get a text message asking if I could just keep her. Don't get me wrong I love spending time with my daughter but nothing pisses me more than making a plan and scraping it on a whim.
So after some yelling and... more yelling Babymama let me know that I should have just assumed that she would have been later than 8:00. So basically, I've been notified that even if Babymama tells me a time or we make a plan I should know that it is stupid of me to even think that we'll stick to that.
Thought of the Day
Sigh
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Merry Christmas
Exchanged gifts with BestFriend last night. He is the best on Christmas! GreenHoodie took a priceless picture of him literally gasping at the sight of his popcorn popper. He got me a Real Madrid jersey. It is sweet!
Tomorrow, GreenHoodie is coming over in the morning to exchange gifts. I have to got see my father up at the hospital some time in the afternoon. And sometime I am going to go meet GreenHoodie's father.
Thought of the Day
That's how I roll.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Time In
So two weeks ago I started at Sitel. It sucks the life out of me. This place is so ghetto it is unbelievable. Mother has been here all week. I haven't been able to spend much time with her since I've been working all week. We had our Christmas last night. It was pretty fun. PrincessNic got a vacuum, clothes, some toys, dvds, and a digital camera. Yes, a camera! I don't even have a digital camera(Not that I would use one, but still...)! Mother leaves tomorrow morning.
Thought of the Day
Sunday, December 03, 2006
The Trinity
GreenHoodie and I did the parental thing and met the girl that is courting our little boy. We even got a hand shake (it was firm).
Guess the Bra: 30 year old, Skirt, or Leggs
BestFriend and I accompanied GreenHoodie to the Jew party tonight. It was fun. Good Kosher fun. Miss-I-Request-to-Remain-Nameless won a facial (Cue BestFriend's joke) she traded it for a blue hoodie.
Thought of the Day
When at the Fox and the Hound don't order a drink and expect to get it any time soon.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
The Gift
The closest thing to a pony I have
Thought of the Day
Do or die, you'll never make me
Because the world will never take my heart
Friday, November 24, 2006
Game Day
Most Important Game of the Week!!!!
The View
Thought of the Day
Give some love to the offense
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Thank you. Thank you very much...
I'm pretty excited. I hope that I enjoy my new job! I need to get myself back on track here quick. There is not much time before Christmas.
Thought of the Day
I'm bored.
Monday, November 20, 2006
First Offer
Thought of the Day
Yes, someday...
Friday, November 17, 2006
Second Round Interview
I'm very excited about the interview today but I'm also afraid that I'm putting all my hopes this one job. I'd feel better if I had some more interviews set up. On Monday I'm going to go put some apps at the Mall to try to find something.
Wish me luck...
Thought of the Day
Here comes the sun...
Monday, November 13, 2006
Interview Two
I got invited back for a second interview at MSI. It is Wednesday. I am very excited. It seems like a great place to work.
More to come...
Thought of the Day
Everything will be ok.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Interview Numero Uno
I have interviews on Monday and Tuesday as well.
More to come... hopefully good news.
Thought of the Day
Nothing changes but the faces, the names, and the trends
High school never ends
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Involuntary Vacation
So I put out some resumes today and actually got a call back today. I'm pretty excited. The jobs I'm applying for are much closer to what I'd like to be doing.
Thought of the Day
Everything happens for a reason.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Beer + Free Darts
So Thursday rolls around and we are up for some drinking (I know... when aren't we?) and we decide to go back. It is like no one ever plays this machine! We have played about $75 worth of darts for free this week!
What an amazing discovery! BestFriend now occupies 8 of the the Top 10 spots on the machine. I... occupy 2. But one of them is 3rd! So there!!!!
Thought of the Day
A busy worker is a disgruntle worker!
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Happy Election Day
So this got me thinking...
I think the federal government should take on this incentive philosophy. If you vote, you get stuff. Beside dirty old white men who like to like to touch little boys.
I started with things like give always. TV's, cars, vacations, etc. But then I started to think big! Remember when you won something in grade school... pizza party! The district with the highest percentage of voters could get a pizza party! As an eight year old the promise of free pizza got me to sell all sorts of shit! I think the same could be applied on a larger scale.
Thought of the Day
Make your voice be heard.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Meat Loaf Cherry
So here's to you loaf of meat! For without you, families would starve to death if the only thing they had to eat was two pounds of ground beef!
Thought of the Day
As American as...
Friday, October 13, 2006
Rock and a Hard Place
I've also been trying to get money from her for daycare-- but that is a whole other headache.
The girls have their last two games of the season this weekend. We should win them both. Of course! We'll see if we do though.
Thought of the Day
when I'm sewed up
here comes another papercut
now I'm stuck with a hand full of bandaids
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
The Flash
I'm leaning on everyone around me a lot more. I feel bad. I've never been the type to ask for help.
I got the internet working in the new place (still waiting on some pictures). BestFriend was so pleased. I told him to try not to get addicted to porn in the first week.
Thought of the Day
http://www.askmen.com/fashion/how_to_300/301_how_to.html
(Grunt)
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Home Sweet Home
I hope to have some pictures up of the new place this weekend.
Thought of the Day
I gave and gave the best of me until I had nothing left at all.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
The Gentleman's Game
I did have a moment that would have made America's funniest Videos when the club totally slipped out of my hands and went sailing. (No one was hit in the balls and no animals were around, so I wouldn't have won). It was something straight out of a movie. I almost hit this father-son pair next to us. I was mortified!!!! The worst part... they left after that! Dear baby jesus lying in the manger.
As is becoming ritual on Monday nights, BestFriend retired to the couch at 8:00 and proceeded to watch large muscular men in spedos and knee high boots fondle each other in a romp to see who gets to be on top. I still in amazement as to how such a show has become so popular.
Thought of the Day
She don't live here no more
I heard she's staying down the street with the dead beat
That don't treat her right with two bad ass kids
Guilt and Regret
Thursday, September 21, 2006
First Day of School
I hope it goes well. I'm kind of nervous about the whole deal. I didn't really have much time to go around and look at places. This place had opennings and the kids weren't in cages.
School Diva: Day 1
BestFriend and I will be moving to CB (AKA--Council-Tuckey) October 1st. We will be having a house warming party (BestFriend's "in"). Details to be annouced.
Thought of the Day
this is me pretending this is all i need
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Making the Move
In other news, I feel like one of my best friends are slipping away. We never really talk anymore and when we do it is odd. The thought of losing my friend makes me sad. Especially considering how much we've gone through together.
Thought of the Day
Go Diego Go!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Kickin' It
Work is going ok. I think I'm sliding into a nice routine.
BestFriend is back in town. Got some more high quality pictures. These are much more... Domestic.
Thought of the Day
Are we becoming a society that is obsessed with the trivial?
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Trouble to Come?
BestFriend Ridin' High
Thought of the Day
alcohol is a social lubricant.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
My Two Dads
I think it will be fun. It could be trouble! Of course we'll have to get him to dance more so when we go to the Max he can shake his booty!
Thought of the Day
Rules make me think of a game, Are we playing a game?
Monday, August 28, 2006
Bi-polar Weekend
So I spent the whole weekend stressing out about what I was going to do with her on Monday! Arg! I feel bad because I know Babymama is in the hospital and she doesn't really want to worry about Nic but come on dude! Give me a call.
On a brighter note, the ladies tied 1-1 on Sunday. Pretty damn good turn around considering we got our asses kick 6-0 two weeks ago. I'll strike that one up to good coaching! I should ask for a raise!
Thought of the Day
You got those TPS reports done for me?
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Nice Job Ladies
Thought of the Day
And then she whispered "How could you did this to me?"
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you...
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Boiling Point
Thought of the Day
Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Refreshed!!!!
Work is going well. I'm starting to get the hang of it (For the most part). We do so many different things it is hard to know everything. Everybody is very helpful so that makes it nice.
In other news, I think I saw a girl I went out with in High School. She probably hates me so I don't know if I'll go say, "Hi." Oh! Who am I kidding, I'm looking for her seat so I can drop on in. Hahahahahah! I'm so evil!
Thought of the Day
I like girls with small hands...
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
On My Butt
Thought of the Day
I'm bossy!
Monday, August 14, 2006
Cut the Cord
The girls didn't do too well. We lost all of our games. I have alot of work. Is it bad of me to say, "This Sucks!" JC keeps telling me this will make me a better coach but I want a good team! Arg!
Thought of the Day
I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
Friday, August 11, 2006
First Game
Thought of the Day
No worries it is only Friday.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Throw-Down
I wanted them to fight it out! Winner take all (in this case naming hurricanes/typhoons)!
Let's Get Ready to Ruuuuuuummmmmbbbbllllllleeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Jock jams music)
Thought of the Day
That's useful!
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Coporate Flexibility
Ok well that doesn't really work. I kinda need to know. I mean I know we're just talking about the last 2 1/2 years of my life and all but...
I don't know what I'm going to do. I need to figure this out really quick. If I can't do my interviews then I need to redo my method. I can come up with something different but it is going to take some time. I threw out there the possibility of a project which got promptly shot down. (Not a big deal, I want to do a thesis).
This is driving me crazy!
Thought of the Day
Lotion would be nice.
Monday, August 07, 2006
Down and Out
So I'm loving my tattoo! It looks cooler and cooler everyday.
Thought of the Day
Just being there is enough.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Here it is!
Friday, August 04, 2006
40 Hours?
- Consumed 20 bottles of soda
- Had three donuts
- Completed 3 pieces of work
- Had 25 breaks
- Sent 12 emails
- Watched people smoke 4 cigarettes
- Laughed my ass off at the expense of others
Thought of the Day
This lucid dream is now reality and it makes me so anxious.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Too Funny
Thought of the Day
The phrase "Look at these pictures on my website" shouldn't ever be uttered at work.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
The "Real" World
- 8-10 -- Tour (I found the bathroom and where I can get Mountain Dew, Thank Jesus!)
- 10-10:30 -- Break #1 (Apparently that tour was intense.)
- 10:30-11-- Learn about some of the account applications.
- 11-11:30 -- Break #2 (Strange but true)
- 11:30-12:15 -- Learned what 10 core things need to be included on every application. (I'm not going to lie to ya... 10 is a big number!)
- 12:15-1:00 -- Lunch! (I had two tacos at Fast Burrito. Who could go wrong with a name like that?)
- 1:00-1:45 -- Learned about all the wonderful account types here.
- 1:45-2:00 -- Break #3 (Only 15 minutes? What!!!!!????)
- 2:00-3:00 -- Learned about IRA's and Trusts! (Sweet Beaver!)
- 3:00-3:15 -- (Can you guess?) Break #4
- 3:15-4:30 -- I stabbed my eyes out.
Real world? Posh!!! It is a huge break interrupted by brief periods of work!
Now I only need to figure out how I can squeeze in a nap!
Bad Blogger
Thought of the Day
Too many questions pisses the hell out of me!
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Sunless Tanning
Thought of the Day
Americans are only able to point their video cameras at four things...
- men getting racked
- men doing stupid things (which may have caused #1)
- children doing cute (Read: stupid) things (which may have caused #1)
- animals doing cute (stupid) things (which may result in any of the above but most likely #1)
Monday, July 24, 2006
More of the Same?
Thought of the Day
You're just the girl all the boys want to dance with
And I'm just the boy who's had too many chances
Home Sweet Home
I need a nap!
Coming Home
I called Noll today to confirm that I wanted the Ameritrade job. Sweet Beaver!
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Un-unemployed
Thought of the Day
I'm glad I made your day!
: )
Friday, July 21, 2006
Speedy Soccer Mom
I saw the craziest soccer mom ever today. So BestFriend and I were going to drop off some resumes and we were stuck on Dodge. The whole area around the new "express" way was bumper to bumper (Ironic, huh). Then this Silver mini-van comes flying up on the shoulder. This van doesn't just by pass a couple of people while they are trying to merge in. They drive on the shoulder through all of the traffic and jump in at the last minute! What is this? This lady is single handily unraveling the fabric of society! What if everyone just decides to completely ignore the rules of a line? Where would we be? In the f-ing dark-ages!!!!!! That's where!!!!! Who does this lady think she is?!
Thought of the Day
10 things you should never tell a women:
- Your family hates her.
- You have insecurities.
- You flirt with other women.
- You have wimpy behavior.
- You compare her to your ex-girlfriend in bed.
- You talk to your mother too often.
- You have not-so-cool hobbies.
- You don't like her girlfriends.
- You've done shameful things in the past.
- You find one of her friends smoking hot.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Confirmation?
So PrincessNic left with mom yesterday morning. She was ready to go! She was like, "Let's go!" and I told her that I wasn't going with her. And she said, "Ok, Bye!!!!"
Thought of the Day
I need a nap!
Monday, July 17, 2006
Post 100!!!!!
So I had my presentation today. It went ok. I'm always a hard critic of myself when I comes to these types of things. I think everyone enjoyed it. I really hope I get the job. I really need to find a job and this one seems really cool. I should know next week. Until then I guess I'll keep sending out resumes and hope for the best.
So my mom leaves with PrincessNic in the morning. I wish I could go. It would be great seeing everyone.
Thought of the Day
Let the waiting begin.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Yes!!!!
My mom is in town. She is leaving with PrincessNic on Tuesday for a week.
I need to get up early so I'm off to bed.
Thought of the Day
Faith is belief in the absence of proof.
Thinkin' Chair
So I am watching "Blue's Clues" with PrincessNic and I think the salt shaker is a Nazi!!!!!
Thought of the Day
The rhythm is going to get you!
Friday, July 14, 2006
Smokin'
So my real interview yesterday went very well. So well I got a call later that day telling me I've made it on toe next stage. I have to give a presentation to the trainers. I am going to teach them how to "Bend it like Beckham". Should be fun. The Dutchess of Grammar suggested I teach a different talent. I think this will be the topic that might get me hired. I'm excited!!!
Thought of the Day
It may seem like a good idea at the time...
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Trainin' the man!
Everyone seems really busy lately. I wish I was busier. Drama Queens love to be constantly busy! They go slightly crazy when they have nothing to do!
Thought of the Day
Please tell me if I become annoying.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Irony
I have a phone interview in the morning. It is for a training specialist for a debt collection agency (now that's ironic!). Seems like it would be interesting. I would be designing training curriculum and running training seminars. I would be working nights and weekends. I guess we'll see. They must be interested-- I applied last night and they called this morning.
Thought of the Day
And I'd give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to
Home Sweet Home
Thought of the Day
Kids, head butt someone in the chest! Go ahead, try it!
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Camp: Day 4
So yesterday was... ackward. I go and do the scramble team. After the game my administrator comes up to me and says that she thinks the girls are getting too flirtatious with me and that I nee to be careful. She was very nice about it and wasn't accusing me of anything bad. She doesn't want my spotless reputation ruined. Which would suck!!! So anyway... so after that I was like all reserved and didn't see the girls for the rest of the afternoon. I was so worried about it after that. So I was getting ready to head out for the night and I went down to see how the girls like their training session that night and I look down the hall and there are like three girls standing there in sports bra and underwear, IN THE HALLWAY! I pull a 180 and head straight back toward my room and hide out. AHHHHHHHHHH! Who does that! My god!!!!!!!!!!!! So I'm mortified at this point, I go down to tell the girls that they need to be dressed while in the hallway and one of the girls walks out of the shower in her towel and her door is wide open! Ah!!!!!!!! I just sprint for the elevator!!!!!!!! No jokes about all this I was seriously horrified!
So ND Ben, KY Kim, IN Brian, SD Steve, and I head down to Molly's. Tonight's drink special: $1 Wiskey and Coke (or diet coke!). BestFriend would have been in heaven. Then to top it off the theme of the night was Coyote Ugly. All the waitresses we dressed in the smallest little outfits and chaps (cheek chillers). Then they get up on the bar and started dancing, not once, not twice, but three times. Each time is a different dance! They have been practicing!!!!
We all have a great walk home again stopping at the Road Ranger! We decided not to partake in the pool party since we were all still drunk last year when we got up.
All and all it was a great week (except the sketchy clothing choices of the girls). I had a blast! I'm sad I have to return to the "real" world.
Thought of the Day
Hunting bass with a shotgun would be da' bom'
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Camp: Day 3
I came back and had some great lunch (if I stayed here all month I'd lose 20 lbs!), took a nap, played in the coaches game, and got back to work!
All the girls seem to like the scramble. Which is good. They get to meet alot of girls from all over. We had a great training session last night which I think is the biggest change in the scramble. My guy is a great coach, really cool guy!
We went out that night to Molly's again. I love Molly's. Last night... 50 cent draws! My god!!!!!!!! Then some of the employees of the dorm came out and bought everyone shots. It was a great time. KY Kim dared ND Ben to steal the half plunger from the previous night. Needless to say he washed his hands twice when we got back. I think tonight is going to be crazy!
Thought of the Day
I hope the girls don't think I'm a push-over.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Camp: Day 2
The girls had a nutrition presentation in the afternoon. I asked about it but the only thing they could tell me was about periods. Apparently if you don't eat you won't get your period and this lady didn't have her period for like three years! I can only the imagine a room full of 15 and 16 year old girls listening to this story.
We got one young lady into pool. I was very happy for her. She played well and worked hard. The rest of the girls got broken into their scramble teams. I was happy that the staff member I got paired with was not an ass. He was really cool and a seems to be a great a coach.
ND Ben, KY Kim, and I (NE Mike) decided to hit Molly's. We traveled up there with KY Kim's roomie who apparently is making her life a little uncomfortable (She has a crush on Kim). We drank $1.25 beer all night and had a blast. We ended up having to walk home. We had a blast!
Thought of the Day
Plungers without handles are hilarious! (Ask me about it)
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Disrepected
Oh well... I'm going to search for Ruby Tuesday's number and give them a call. Hopefully I can get a job there!
Thought of the Day
The little things go along way!
Camp: Day 1
So after the rush wore off everyone fell asleep. (ZZZZ) Then we watched a couple of random movies. We rolled into DeKalb at 12:30 and went and got some lunch... Subway... yum!
We played Wisconsin last night 2-1. It was a pretty good showing. The girls worry too much. They need to relax and play. They put so much pressure on themselves they freak out. I guess that's where I come in.
We play Kentucky this morning. Should be a good game. I want to win!
Thought of the Day
Rules are meant to be broken.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Happy Birthday USA
I should find out about WSC is the next couple of days! I'm so nervous. I want the job so bad. I found out who the third candidate is. She played at Nebraska and is an assistant coach at Beatrice high school. JC thinks it is between me and the other guy. I don't know. I think my interview went great but deep down I really don't think I'll get it. The other guy is an assistant coach at a D1 school and has head coaching experience. If he really wants it why wouldn't they take him? The only thing against him is that he hasn't been anywhere longer than a year. Who knows, I guess we'll see.
Thought of the Day
What better way to celebrate our independence by blowing shit up!
Monday, July 03, 2006
The Fallout
I have to start getting ready for ODP camp. We leave on the 5th. I need to get all the evals done before we leave. Last year we did them at camp but this year we have to have them done before-hand. I feel bad because I haven't seen the girls play that much. I'd have a much better idea after a couple days of camp.
Thought of the Day
all the mistakes, one life contained
Sunday, July 02, 2006
The First 25 Years
I don't know what to say. I'm sorry for all the pain that I've caused. I'm sorry for not trusting you the way you trusted me. I'm sorry for abusing the trust I had. Finally, I'm sorry I could speak up and actually tell you this.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Quarter of a Century
My dad called yesterday and let me know that he'll be kicking me out sometime in August. So I guess I'll be looking for a new home as well as a job. Yep, I'm put that right on the top of my "To Do" list.
Thought of the Day
I turn the page and read the story again
And again and again
It sure seems the same, with a different name
Friday, June 30, 2006
Go Wildcats
Thought of the Day
I won't let you take me to the end of my rope
While you burn it and torture my soul
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Top O' the Mornin'
Thought of the Day
Only time will tell...
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Lack of Enthusiasm
Your drama queen's birthday is Saturday. I hope it is fun.
Thought of the Day
Were we ever close?
Monday, June 26, 2006
Interview
Thought of the Day
You think you know but you have no idea... The Diary of PrincessMike.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!
Bored
Thought of the Day
No matter what you see
You’re still so blind to me
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Goodbye US
Thought of the Day
Tough day at the office Bruce.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Talk To Me!!!!!
Thought of the Day
Excuses are like assholes; Everyone has one and they all stink!
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
I Love This Part
This day has progessively gotten worse and worse. Even the World Cup couldn't cheer me up.
I did send my resume off to Wayne State. I'm pretty excited.
Thought of the Day
Can anybody tell me what's going on?
Operation Un-unemployment
I began calling the U13's today (I'm leaning toward Phoenix Helios, pretty hot huh?). I've got 8 confirmed, 2 no, and 2 undecided. Pretty good for the first day of calling. There are two younger girls that might be leaving the club. I'm going to offer them spots. This may make people pissed. Hey, if they'll play for me and not another coach in the club is that my fault?
Tomorrow I must find a job!
Thought of the Day
Thought provoking! Go Head Automatica
http://streamos.wbr.com/wmedia/wbr/headautomatica/042806/ha_graduation-day_002-e5m9_700.wvx
Monday, June 19, 2006
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Movin' on up?
Money is still in short supply. And for some reason PrincessNic keeps calling me Mike.
I have to miss the US game! Why in the world would you schedule soccer tryouts during the biggest match in US Soccer history! We are smart, S-M-R-T!!!!!!!!!!!
Thought of the Day
I'm not a player, I just crush a lot!
Friday, June 16, 2006
Oh Money
Thought of the Day
Anybody got a $20?
Thursday, June 15, 2006
The Visit
So I am disappointed. There were 20 guys at Dynamo Tryouts and 6 guys who couldn't show up. I am going to be pissed off if these 11s don't pan out and I gave up my team because of it.
Thought of the Day
Ole Ole!
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Hot hot hot
Tryouts went pretty well. We had 15 girls show up for U13s. One of the girls was very impressive, I hope we can snag her. Tonight is Dynamo tryouts. While I'm not coaching anymore, I am excited to see who shows up.
Thought of the Day
Thanks to Spain's 4-0 victory the US isn't in last place anymore!
Monday, June 12, 2006
GO USA!
Thought of the Day
Ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Poor Nick
All in all it was great time.
Thought of the Day
Tying is like kissing your sister.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
All Bets Are Off
So this DramaQueen has a whole day to waste... I mean find something productive to do!
Thought of the Day
You are just a wee bit too busy to take on anything new right now, especially new love connections. The phase will pass pretty quickly, so if someone super-hot appears, see if you can postpone things.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Yippy
Thought of the Day
7 Signs She's Not Into You - Part II
- She's secretive
- She's always mentioning another guy
- She's not into PDA
- She picks fights
- She keeps her place private
- She hangs with the guys
- She's a flirt
Which are true?
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Spoiler
Thought of the Day
Must find a job!
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Stratch That
Road Trip!
Thought of the Day
When did news anchors become failed comedians?
Fed Up
I am thinking about putting Kathryn's plan into action. We shall see.
Thought of the Day
http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_150/197_relationship_expert.html
Thursday, June 01, 2006
The Craziness
So the boys lost tonight 2-0. It was a good effort. I am proud of them.
Babymama and I threw down today. Everything got laid on the table.
Thought of the Day
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
The Two Towers
The carcass of the first tower.
After defeating the first tower, we decided to take on the mighty second tower.
I Was Crazy Once
Thought of the Day
Be careful what you wish for.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Ahhhhhhh Relaxed!!!!!!
Babymama was mad at me. She thinks that I wanted her to keep PrincessNic so I could have a party at my house. One of her friends (who is almost as reliable as she is) said there was something going on at my house. Funny how reality is miles away from the truth.
I am going to war with the yard again. I plan on kicking some ass.
Thought of the Day
You stand on the shoulders of those who came before you.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Strange Night
I think PrincessNic and I are going to go swimming today. I need to get some sun on my hideous body! We have Dynamo training tonight, if the weather holds out.
Thought of the Day
Don't trust a deal that looks too good or a lover who appears to have it all.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Weekend: Part 2
BestFriend and I then made the long trek to hottie's house. We consumed alittle... ok alot of alcohol. We played some drinking games (always a favorite) everyone had a good time. BestFriend was disappointed by the lack of Nick GAS. I am a big fan of this new hottie. She's very nice. BestFriend is a big fan.
Thought of the Day
Good friends always bring a smile.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Weekend: Part 1
We had a really good time last night. BestFriend doesn't seem like he wants to go to the Max. We have to decide what we want to do. Decisions decisions. Greenhoodie is upset about the last minute change of plans. She feels like there is a conspiracy against her. Defiantly not the case. Oh the drama of my life, makes for good blogs.
Thought of the Day
But I cannot forget
Refuse to regret
So glad I met you
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Top of the Food Chain
So Babymama told me that her "BF" was joking about calling me the other day. It kind of took me by surprise. I was like, "why would he do that?" Seems stupid to me.
Thought of the Day
Soon your heart is going to have sex with your brain. Then every molecule in your body will be getting more action.
Yawn
I hate working on my resume and cover letter. I am terrible at it. I can sit down and crank out dozens of pages about anything but I can't write one page about myself. ARG!
Thought of the Day
Its not paranoia unless they're really after you.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Go Skyhawks!
BestFriend might come into town this weekend. That would be awesome. I think we might go to the Max on Saturday. I haven't been in awhile. I just need to dance!
Thought of the Day
Do you believe in soul mates? How about star-crossed lovers?
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Sunday, May 21, 2006
War With Beer
Last night we found the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. BestFriend almost cried.
100 oz of Beer! We had two!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Thunderstruck
Freshman Alexa Lind celebrates Skutt's goal.
Hair-dog, Dean-o, and PrincessMike
Monday, May 15, 2006
Aimlessly Wandering
The boys had a game on Sunday. We lost 1-0. It was actually a really good game. I was proud of them.
Anyway, I feel... lost. I know alot of it is stress but I can't blame it all on that. I have mixed feelings about everything in my life. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I don't get to see my daughter as much as I would like. I just really feel like my life has stalled. I feel pulled in a dozen different directions and I wish I could hide. I wish I could see down the road and know what is to be.
Thought of the Day
Life is what you make it.
Friday, May 12, 2006
Lady Victory
We play tomorrow at 8:00 pm.
Thought of the Day
What time is it? Game Time, huah!
T Minus 3 Hours
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Stressed
I've got my Comprehensive Exams Wednesday and Thursday. I've moved on to the second question but it is very general. "How do you choose a method?" That's a very big question- in fact I think people write books on that, don't they? I have to do it in 2 hours from a page of notes.
The first round of the state tournament is tomorrow. The girls seem ready to go. We play Gretna first. We won our first outing against them pretty easily. I am nervous. This is my first trip to the state tournament.
I don't know if things are going well with Dynamos. We won last weekend which was great. I hope Sunday's game goes well. We lost to this team last season 2-0. If we win we pretty much secure our spot in Premier next season. JC told me yesterday that one of the parents contacted him and asked if he would come out and do some training. That's not a big deal I wish I could find more people to come in. The only thing is they just contacted JC. Which makes me feel like I'm not doing a good enough job. I know I shouldn't but... I do.
So then on top of that my paper I submitted for NCA got rejected. That sucks. Basically, they said I didn't have enough participants and my writing was weak. All of my professors at UNO have praised my writing so I either have shitty professors or the CEO of the English Company was my reviewer.
I think everything is coming down all at once.
Thought of the Day
I need a drink!
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Sniff Sniff
Thought of the Day
: (
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Disappointment
I am working on my comps. Not as quickly as I'd like but good enough.
Thought of the Day
One shouldn't ever wear pants made to look like an American flag!
Monday, May 08, 2006
V for Victory
Skutt also won districts. We beat Mercy 1-0. I feel bad I know some of the girls on the Mercy team and they were pretty sad their season was over.
Thought of the Day
Victory is bittersweet.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
I Did It!
So the girls had a nice fun practice today. We play Mercy tomorrow in the district final. Last year they beat us in the district final last year. I hope history does not repeat itself. I am still waiting for the girls to unload on a team!
Thought of the Day
Kick some names and take some ass!
Friday, May 05, 2006
Nightmare
Thought of the Day
Give in to temptation!
Thursday, May 04, 2006
First Step
Thought of the Day
If you're not having fun, lower your standards.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Calm Before the Storm
I am disappointed I don't get to go watch Hastings play GI Northwest. That will be a great game. Could be the first time they head to the State tournament.
Thought of the Day
http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_top_ten_100/139c_dating_list.html
Ha ha
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Random Events
Next stop was my house for some 3 person 3 man (Not smart!). We decided to be nerds for about 10 minutes. Greenhoodie got here and we went to the Shark Club. Interesting little place. Someone lit a tree on fire in the bar! I stole my id back a didn't have to pay for pool. I'm such a rebel. The best part of the bar was that no one really paid any attention to the fire but there a was fight and they closed the bar down 20 minutes early.
So then... we went to the strip club! It was crazy. I think I was bright red the whole time. GreenHoodie had a great time watching me be shy. There was this couple that kept buying me dances. Oh, and everyone had to know (as if it was absolutely necessary) that it was my first time. I almost got my nipple bit off by a stripper.
Thought of the Day
Don't fail at the game of Life!
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Cancers
I can't this out of my mind!
PS- IMing while in the same room as someone= Not Cool!
Thought of the Day
Some days I feel like shit, Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit.
Weekend Part 1
So after that fun, BestFirend and I decided to head downtown to get a bite to eat. I couldn't really think of anything to do, so I called Chrissy. She always knows what is going on! She said there was a birthday party at the 415. So we strolled down there. BestFriend wasn't really feeling it. So we decided to change locations to somewhere a bit more laid back, the 9er.
The end of the night didn't turn out as planned. That's fine. I hope tonight is a blast. We are going to Big John's (Billy Dong's! Haha!) to play some pool. This should be right up BestFriend's ally. I also hear that someone of Welsh descent might make an appearance. How exciting!
The fun starts in 12 hours.
Thought of the Day
I've got a lot of thinking to do.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
La La La
Dynamos were supposed to play Arsenal last night but it rained all day. Ah beautiful Nebraska weather.
Thought of the Day
The Sun doesn't give the light to the Moon assuming the Moon's gonna owe it one.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Space Cadet
So I am waiting to see whether or not we play Pius today. It is supposed to rain today. If it rains, I'll be going to class tonight. I am supposed to present my paper tonight. I'm kinda of torn. I really would like to see all the presentations but I really want to see us play Pius. I guess we'll see.
I've been baffled by people lately. Babymama has been severely bi-polar lately. Yesterday she was telling me about some date she was going on that night and the next moment she's going off on me. Jen has stopped talking to me all together. I guess, to me, if you feel like you can't be friends with someone it would be nice if they told you. That's just me. Funny though, someone told me they thought she would do that. The notion that, "You want what you can't have." Who knows. Finally, there's BestFriend. Who is moving back to Nebraska in a month. He's mentioned the fact that he would like to move in here with me, if he gets a job in O-town. Well if he moves here then I need to find a bigger house. Not as easy as just running down to the corner market for one! (Even if your dad does own numerous houses)
Oh, my life.
Thought of the Day
Have fun exploring the infinite abyss.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Empathy
Thought of the Day
Don't let what I'm like on the outside start to inform you of anything.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Sick
So I turned in the final paper of my Master's degree (not counting my Theiss , of course). What a great feeling!
I am enjoying the cable. I'm watching Arsenal play Villareal.
Thought of the Day
Joga Bonita
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Weekend of Changes
Thought of the Day
I am my own worst enemy.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Sitting Waiting Wishing
So change of plans last night. Just as we're pulling up on the house party... kids come running out of every orifice of this house. Apparently, the cops came. Imagine that, booze, loud music, cops?
Oh my! The cable guy just pulled up! My hero has come to save me from my sad existence.
So anyway... We went to the 415. Pretty good time. Good DJ. Someone wanted to put a ruffie in my drink (seems a bit passive to me). I mean do I look that up approachable? You have to drug me in order to talk to me? Oh well. I figure it is a good warm up for tonight's festivities!
Thought of the Day
Im N Luv with a stripper
Friday, April 14, 2006
Karma's a...
So I'm going to a house party tonight (house music, not someone's house). Should be... Interesting. Tomorrow, I will be going to my first strip club. This weekend I will be seeing a very diverse section of the population. Tonight I will see a bunch of kids hopped up on X "dancing" and tomorrow I'll see a bunch of drunk red necks looking a naked girls "dancing".
Thought of the Day
Heavy is the head that wears the crown.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
V for Victory
The boys had practice last night. I hope that we can get ourselves picked up. I keep trying to figure out what I am doing wrong. I've never had a problem like this. I snapped at them last night. I just feel like they think that this is the same team that came in second two years ago. I told them that was not the case. Half of that team left. I also told them that they need to stop thinking that they are coming back. If we are going to do this it is going to be with who we have. I don't know what to do.
Thought of the Day
Keep on swimming, keep on swimming!
Monday, April 10, 2006
Crappy Weekend
So Saturday we had two games. The first one started out pretty well. We were tied 1-1. But in the second half we let down and lost 4-1. We came back in the afternoon and lost 5-0 (arg!). I was devastated. I was so excited about the weekend. I thought we were ready to play and really show our stuff. I don't know what to do. I keep trying to figure out what I'm doing or what I need to do. The girls (Skutt) played Mercy back in O-town. We killed them 3-0! At least one of my teams are doing the right things.
Sunday started out rough. We had a wonderfully early game and lost 4-0 (AAAAArg!). So we got the privilege of playing the pride (last place) game. We won that one 2-1! Sweet! They played pretty well. I know it was our first weekend but I thought we were ready. I thought the boys were starting to see things and putting things together. I guess not. I think the parents are getting worried. I heard they were talking.
After the games, I piled back in the car and rode back to O-town. Overall the whole trip wasn't bad. I kind of felt out of place most of the time (Like I was "tagging" along). Friday was fun but I paid big time Saturday!
I finally got my rough draft back from Stupidprofessor. I looked at it and it didn't really say much. Some grammar mistakes he gave me 29/30. Then I noticed that I got another email from him. He said he re-graded it, "In re-reading it, however, you left out one important component of your paper  you have no research questions or hypotheses. That is a requirement. 24/30" Ok but I do have a research question! It was on page three asshole! Arg! So basically I went from a 96% to an 80% on this "oversight". I don't understand this guy. I wrote him back saying I did include it and that I felt that this was unfair. First my outline won't get me a 15 page paper (which was wrong) then I don't have a research question (which is wrong). Arg!
Thought of the Day
What's love got to do, got to do with it? What's love but a second-hand emotion?
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Co-dependence
I took PrincessNic over to Greenhoodie's house. She had fun with Aiden. He talks a lot, I hope that rubs off on her.
Thought of the Day
You're a slave to yourself and you don't even know.
Monday, April 03, 2006
El Fin
So we were supposed to play Pius today. Apparently the fields were too wet to play. So we rescheduled for tomorrow night. Wish us luck.
Thought of the Day
Must remember that my actions (or inactions) have consequences.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
"Fun" To The Max
My mom just emailed me to ask if she could take PrincessNic for a couple of weeks this month. I think he hates it in the Northland. I feel bad for her. She can't find a job and she lives in this small town in the middle of no-where. I have to talk to Babymama.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Beer + Tequila = Headache!
So yesterday we kicked Lincoln Lutheran's ass! 6-0 (Silly Lutherans!) Dynamos also had training at a new field. It was horrible. I don't think we are going back. We were supposed to have our first game on Sunday but it got cancelled. So now I'm trying to find something for us to do on Sunday. The guys are so ready to play.
So last night Kathryn came in. We went to a "drinking games" party. It was a blast despite the lack of drinking games. Charlotte pulled a Jonesy. Hayley (who threw the party) was an interesting person. She's very open about her life. I know more about her than I know about people I've known for years. I have the worst headache today! I need to get rid of it. I have to write more on my paper. Oh, we're going out to the Max later as well so I better get my act together.
Spencer called me from AFA yesterday. He said it was beautiful in Florida. Last year I didn't even really miss AFA. It sort of came and went and I barely noticed. This year I really miss it. I miss everybody.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Lightbulbs
I haven't got enough of my paper done yet! Ah!
So we whooped up on Roncalli last night. It was a good game for us. We finally got our attack going. One of our freshman got her first goal. That's the best feeling in the world. We are supposed to play Lincoln Lutheran Friday. I don't know if we will. It is supposed to rain all day!
Thought of the Day
Its always better when we're together.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
The Power of the Internet
youarenotgoodenough said...
You should not call chrissy. You're not good enough for her and you broke her heart. You will probably never find someone like her again. By this, I mean I doubt you'll find someone who cares that much about you and your daughter, who puts up with your bullshit as much as she did, and who loved you as much as she did. So please, don't call her. Let her move past this. I think what you did was horrendous. Yep, this is anonymous because you don't need to know who I am. I know Chrissy even though I don't talk to her often. I just wanted to say that what you did sucks.
I'm surprised someone would take the time and energy to create an account just to post on my blog. I find it funny.
So StupidProfessor let me redo my outline. So I made it a bit longer and he gave me 15/20. He said he thinks I'm going to have a hard time getting 15 pages out of it. Who is this guy? How does he know my writing style or process? This yahoo can't even teach. This has been the worst college class I've ever had.
Thought of the Day
What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems? I'm not Ok. You wear me out.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Weekend Update
Saturday I had to work again (What's up with that?). I actually enjoyed working this weekend. We had a little mini-camp for our 9 and 10 year olds. It was exhausting being chipper for that long. My dad watched PrincessNic for the night and I went out and partied it up! Ok, well it was a bit more subdued than I wanted but it got me out of the house. It was very enlightening. I now have an extensive vocabulary of slang terms for both the male and female genital. As BestFriend would say, "That's useful!"
Sunday I had to work... again! I made some damn good money this weekend! PrincessNic was in a good mood (despite staying up till 11:00, what a bad father). I had amazing home-made enchiladas for dinner. I was so excited and ready to end my weekend on a high note when... (Scary Music) StupidProfessor struck again! We had turned in an outline of our final paper. I got mine back and it said, "Does not meet the requirements -- 0/20" What?! Arg! I was so pissed. So mad even Kathryn couldn't distract me! (on the phone you sick-os!)(Not like that either you even sicker-os!)
So I emailed him to see if I could redo and he said yes. But gave me no more direction. He sent me some example from one of his undergraduate classes. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? Wipe my ass with it? So I guess I'll be muddling through that for the rest of the day.
Thought of the Day
Does everyone love a drunk dial?
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Ouch
I was very tempted to call Chrissy last night. I just wanted to see what she was up to. Is that bad? I'm sure she was out and about anyway. I don't know what to think.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Be careful what you wish for!
After getting all prettied up we rushed off to Skutt. The girls absolutely loved her! And why wouldn't they, she is the most perfect child... ever! She gave everyone high-fives, drew some pictures, and showed off her sweet soccer moves. Oh, she's also in our team picture. 2 and already on the varsity soccer team. Take that! After Skutt, I met Booty Baby since she looked after PrincessNic for me while I went to work, again. We had a horrible waiter. PrincessNic kept throwing her food under the table (hehe).
I had a great conversation with Kathryn where we made up a new word. I can't remember it though.
Thought of the Day
When someone calls a moustache a 'stash does it sounds as dirty to everyone else as it does to me?
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
I'm a lazy bum!
Work was good. I went and watched the JV practice. Man, I'm glad I don't have Jimmy's job. I think we are going to be very good!
I did talk briefly with Chrissy today. It was civil. I'm glad we got a chance to talk.
Babymama is back in the hospital.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Spring-like Wonderland
So after digging myself out of my house, I went to campus to make up the test and spoke with my thesis advisor about my future. Tons of fun. Doesn't look like I'm going to be done with my thesis until May 2007. Oh well, I love school! I'm thinking about staying forever. Do you think women find a man with 6 BA's, 5 MA's, 2 Phd.'s, but no job attractive?
Had crappy Tex-mexican at Julio's for lunch. I know there's a reason I avoided that place.
I know this all very... undramaful. But wait there's more! Chrissy sent me a text message as I was leaving Julio's. She wanted to find a time to get her stuff. So I called to see when she wanted to do the deed. Heheh. And I must have said something asshole-ish because she hung up and like five minutes later her best friend called and said that I needed to set up a time with her to pick up her stuff. I immediately had flashbacks of 7th grade (not a pretty time in my life)! So after I get off the phone with the best friend I sent text message to her expressing my 7th grade-ness. (Ok, so that was definitely asshole-ish but come on!) Long story short... I'm dropping her stuff off to her and I'm not supposed to talk to any of her friends anymore! BestFriend (who is making me very proud lately) is amazed at the situations I get myself in.
Thought of the Day
I miss PrincessNic!
Monday, March 20, 2006
Stupid Professors
It was nice to get out of the house, even if it was so rudely interrupted. I would have like to stay, Hotroomie was making dinner. Could have been dangerous though. I saw the meat she was using. It looked like it had been in the freezer for six months!
In other news, I doubt we are going to play soccer for awhile. So I need to find a hobby until I start working again. Perhaps I could actually do some homework? I feel so unmotivated. I think I'm ready to be done with school.
Thought of the Day
Is dancing in a skirt or pants more fun?
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Blah
Man what a bummer of a post. I think this would be a good time to crack a joke.
Knock, Knock... Eh, maybe not. Perhaps tomorrow I'll be in a better mood.
Thought of the Day
Snow on the first day of Spring make me love Nebraska!
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Sad
I realize some things are not meant to be. I guess I tricked myself into thinking if I was more understanding, and more lenient things would be better in the long run. I give everyone I know the benefit of the doubt, maybe to a fault. I make too many excuses for people when they tend to hurt me over and over.
A good friend told me today to live in the real word, not the DRAMA that is the internet.
I guess I fooled myself into thinking that if we EVER did break up it would be a nice amicable split. We would discuss how things were not working out and decide to break up, but maybe still talk once in a while. That is really FAR from what happened. Honestly I wish that I had shut my mouth and continued to be "ignorant and in bliss", but I am sure I will come to my senses soon.
I took a chance dating someone with a lot of "complications". I know I believed what ever issue came up, that we were on the same team and we could work anything out.
The past nine months have been awesome, I love mike VERRY VERRY much, and I am sad thast things ended the way they did. It is really hard when there is no way that you can put into words how much you love someone only to have them throw you aside.
I decided in the beginning I was just going to be honest, tell the whole truth and be myself. I didn't want to be with anyone long term while trying to be someone I was not.
Mike and I clicked right away. I have never had someone make me laugh as much as he did, noone ever made me feel as pretty and desirable. Noone ever made me feel more secure in myself and my abilities. I have had a lot of weird relationships, but none that were as committed
and serious as this one.
I wanted to know EVERYTHING about Mike, I wanted to be a part of his life. I wanted to know what made him tick, and what made him happy. I wanted to know the taste of his kiss and the sound of his laugh. I put everything I had into our relationship, and even though sometimes it was hard, I knew that I loved him and in the end it would be worth something.
I made huge efforts to spend time with Mike, I drove to his house in the winter when my car had no heat. I woke up at 6am just so I could wake up next to him. And it was all worth it to me. We spent a lot of nights in. We had a lot of fun nights out.
We drank cheap champagne under the stars by the lake, we laid out in a grassy field and looked at the stars. We had a lot of really awesome times that no matter if we speak again I will always remember and they will be special to me.
We went to soccer games, and even played a tournament on the same team. I didn't care how stupid I looked, I just wanted to be able to say that we were on the same team together and had a fun time. I enjoyed getting to know Mike and Nicolette as well as his co workers and the game of soccer. I went to a lot of his games and talked about a LOT of soccer, because I knew it was important to him. I met both sides of his family, and at the time I thought that meant a lot.
We have been to a lot of awesome parties, and shared a lot of fun and laughs. I have shared things with Mike that I will never share with anyone ever again. And to me that is special, no matter what the outcome was.
Mike really taught me a lot about myself, and I really do believe that he helped me become a more selfless person. I appreciate the time and patience he took in teaching me things, and I appreciate the fact that he never got frustrated or sharp tounged with me.
Most of the best times with Mike were just chilling out at home, making pizza, or spicy enchiladas and food on buns. We had a lot of time at home to get to know eachother, and there were a lot of awesome nights with the three of us.
Christmas was really special to me, I never had anyone to buy gifts for. And the night we exchanged gifts was soo awesome. Christmas day we layed around and ordered in Chinese and watched sketchy sci- fi. One of the reasons I love Mike soo much is the fact that he is an AWSOME father to his daughter. He has more patience and love for her than I have ever seen any one parent have. He puts her above everything and I know that sometimes it isn't always easy.
outlook on life.
Being in a committed relationship takes a lot of time and effort. For all the time I invested and effort I gave, there just wasn't enough for him. Which makes me sad, specially the fact that no one person can give you that much attention. And it breaks my heart that I didn't make him happy and that his feelings for me faded. For me everyday with Mike made me feel more secure and more comfortable. I never spent so much time with one person, and changed my schedule to better match their needs.
I really love Mike a lot, more than I could ever put into words here. I guess I am sorry if I didn't convey that to him in a way that he understood. I didn't have "one foot in the door" I am completely in love. (Everybody knows I 'm in over my head, over my head). And I should have realized maybe he wasn't at Valentine's Day. I think I was the only girl in north America that got a card that said "Happy VD", with no I love you, or Love Mike. But once again I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
I am sad that things went sour, and I wasn't enough for him. I am pretty devastated right now, and I don't care who knows it. I would rather people knew how I felt, specially since we never know how long we are going to live.
I still love Mike and I am really really going to miss him. I am going to miss holding hands and proofreading his papers. Watching the Sunday sports extra, Conan and sketchy sci fi. It really breaks my heart that we didn't end things nicely. I am never again going to kiss him goodnight, or wake up in his arms, have him kiss my forehead in the middle of the night. Stay up till 3am "making out", watch his soccer games.
Never going to play with Nicolette and go out to dinner, help her cut up her food. I am not going to be around for her 3rd birthday, I am not going to get to see her first soccer game. And that really hurts. A lot a LOT.
Everything reminds me of Mike, every song makes me cry. I guess this all makes me seem weak, and stupid. But this is how I feel and I am going to miss a lot. What hurts even more is being with Mike for nine months and have our whole demise summed up by him in ONE paragraph.
I don't know what to give back, and what to throw away, or what to keep. Maybe he cheated, maybe he didn't, eitherway he wasn't sorry and gave no explanation. What hurts fivethousand times more than the thought of him cheating, is his "lukewarm" feelings for me.
I realize I may have said some hurtful things, and for that I am sorry. I would never hurt him on purpose, and if I did I feel bad about it.
I have never been so in love, I have never been with someone so smart and interesting, that made me smile and felt "right".
And it hurts, exactly like I thought it would.