Lightbulbs

Well it took long enough but the Skutt girls finally started to ask questions about PrincessNic. Questions like... "She's two?"... "You're 24?"... "So, when did you get married?"... "Oh!"

I haven't got enough of my paper done yet! Ah!

So we whooped up on Roncalli last night. It was a good game for us. We finally got our attack going. One of our freshman got her first goal. That's the best feeling in the world. We are supposed to play Lincoln Lutheran Friday. I don't know if we will. It is supposed to rain all day!

AFA 2004

My Roommates

Thought of the Day
Its always better when we're together.

The Power of the Internet

So I got this as a comment to one of my posts,

youarenotgoodenough said...
You should not call chrissy. You're not good enough for her and you broke her heart. You will probably never find someone like her again. By this, I mean I doubt you'll find someone who cares that much about you and your daughter, who puts up with your bullshit as much as she did, and who loved you as much as she did. So please, don't call her. Let her move past this. I think what you did was horrendous. Yep, this is anonymous because you don't need to know who I am. I know Chrissy even though I don't talk to her often. I just wanted to say that what you did sucks.

I'm surprised someone would take the time and energy to create an account just to post on my blog. I find it funny.

So StupidProfessor let me redo my outline. So I made it a bit longer and he gave me 15/20. He said he thinks I'm going to have a hard time getting 15 pages out of it. Who is this guy? How does he know my writing style or process? This yahoo can't even teach. This has been the worst college class I've ever had.

Thought of the Day
What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems? I'm not Ok. You wear me out.

Weekend Update

What an interesting weekend (That one was for you Welsh Gal)! Friday I had to work all night. I think I also broke my ankle. (Not that night but previsously) It kind of hurts real bad. If I had insurance I think I would go get it checked out. Anyway, Bootybaby watched PrincessNic for me. I think she had fun because she was out like a light when I got her into the car. So I spent a nice relaxing evening at home with my woman! She droowls a little but I still love her.

Saturday I had to work again (What's up with that?). I actually enjoyed working this weekend. We had a little mini-camp for our 9 and 10 year olds. It was exhausting being chipper for that long. My dad watched PrincessNic for the night and I went out and partied it up! Ok, well it was a bit more subdued than I wanted but it got me out of the house. It was very enlightening. I now have an extensive vocabulary of slang terms for both the male and female genital. As BestFriend would say, "That's useful!"

Sunday I had to work... again! I made some damn good money this weekend! PrincessNic was in a good mood (despite staying up till 11:00, what a bad father). I had amazing home-made enchiladas for dinner. I was so excited and ready to end my weekend on a high note when... (Scary Music) StupidProfessor struck again! We had turned in an outline of our final paper. I got mine back and it said, "Does not meet the requirements -- 0/20" What?! Arg! I was so pissed. So mad even Kathryn couldn't distract me! (on the phone you sick-os!)(Not like that either you even sicker-os!)

So I emailed him to see if I could redo and he said yes. But gave me no more direction. He sent me some example from one of his undergraduate classes. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? Wipe my ass with it? So I guess I'll be muddling through that for the rest of the day.

Thought of the Day
Does everyone love a drunk dial?

WelshGirl and I

Ouch

So I really think I've screwed my ankle up. I'm not a doctor (nor do I play one on TV) but it has been swollen for at least three days. Plus it hurts real bad! I think I might... go get it looked at! Ah! Must be bad, huh!

I was very tempted to call Chrissy last night. I just wanted to see what she was up to. Is that bad? I'm sure she was out and about anyway. I don't know what to think.

Be careful what you wish for!

Ah! What a super busy day yesterday! PrincessNic decided it would be super sweet to get up at 6:00 am! I'm still three hours away from being human at that point. So I gout up and we made breakfast (Yummy). We read some books and watched some TV. Once I actually woke up I went crazy cleaning. I cleaned the bathroom, living room, and kitchen (damn I'm so domestic). I made some lunch. PrincessNic decided it would be fashionable to wear my well prepared lunch so next step was into the (freshly cleaned!) bath.

After getting all prettied up we rushed off to Skutt. The girls absolutely loved her! And why wouldn't they, she is the most perfect child... ever! She gave everyone high-fives, drew some pictures, and showed off her sweet soccer moves. Oh, she's also in our team picture. 2 and already on the varsity soccer team. Take that! After Skutt, I met Booty Baby since she looked after PrincessNic for me while I went to work, again. We had a horrible waiter. PrincessNic kept throwing her food under the table (hehe).

I had a great conversation with Kathryn where we made up a new word. I can't remember it though.

Thought of the Day
When someone calls a moustache a 'stash does it sounds as dirty to everyone else as it does to me?

I'm a lazy bum!

Ah what a lazy day. As if I haven't had enough of these lately. So I got up watched the Price is Right (That Bob Barker is a hoot!), made lunch, took a nap, and went to work! God my life is so hard!

Work was good. I went and watched the JV practice. Man, I'm glad I don't have Jimmy's job. I think we are going to be very good!

I did talk briefly with Chrissy today. It was civil. I'm glad we got a chance to talk.

Babymama is back in the hospital.

Spring-like Wonderland

Ah what a beautiful state we live in! Second day of Spring and there's 6 inches of snow on the ground. Yes! I hope I get stuck in this god forsaken place for the rest of my natural life! That would rule! So I got up this morning and found out that we had class. One problem, the streets haven't been plowed in B-Town. So email my professor and let him know I will be unable to make it for our test today.

So after digging myself out of my house, I went to campus to make up the test and spoke with my thesis advisor about my future. Tons of fun. Doesn't look like I'm going to be done with my thesis until May 2007. Oh well, I love school! I'm thinking about staying forever. Do you think women find a man with 6 BA's, 5 MA's, 2 Phd.'s, but no job attractive?

Had crappy Tex-mexican at Julio's for lunch. I know there's a reason I avoided that place.

I know this all very... undramaful. But wait there's more! Chrissy sent me a text message as I was leaving Julio's. She wanted to find a time to get her stuff. So I called to see when she wanted to do the deed. Heheh. And I must have said something asshole-ish because she hung up and like five minutes later her best friend called and said that I needed to set up a time with her to pick up her stuff. I immediately had flashbacks of 7th grade (not a pretty time in my life)! So after I get off the phone with the best friend I sent text message to her expressing my 7th grade-ness. (Ok, so that was definitely asshole-ish but come on!) Long story short... I'm dropping her stuff off to her and I'm not supposed to talk to any of her friends anymore! BestFriend (who is making me very proud lately) is amazed at the situations I get myself in.

Thought of the Day
I miss PrincessNic!

Stupid Professors

Arg! So I was sitting at Grad-buddy's house when I found that we were going to have a "virtual classroom" session. This angers me! UNO cancelled class you can't use technology to make us come to class! So I sat on this stupid thing for an hour and we all just ranted about random ass stuff! What a big fat waste of time!

It was nice to get out of the house, even if it was so rudely interrupted. I would have like to stay, Hotroomie was making dinner. Could have been dangerous though. I saw the meat she was using. It looked like it had been in the freezer for six months!

In other news, I doubt we are going to play soccer for awhile. So I need to find a hobby until I start working again. Perhaps I could actually do some homework? I feel so unmotivated. I think I'm ready to be done with school.

Thought of the Day
Is dancing in a skirt or pants more fun?

Blah

What a weekend. So Friday we had our first Skutt game. We played Columbus Scotus. Good game, we won 3-1 in OT. It shouldn't have gotten to OT though. Had a couple of beers in celebration of St. Patty's day. It was nice. On Saturday, we played Elkhorn. We lost 1-0 on a stupid PK. Silly Referees. We had plenty of opportunities to score but couldn't find the back of the net. What a day at the office! I had PrincessNic on Friday night. It was good to see her. I've been so busy lately. I miss her a lot. I hope my schedule settles down so I can see her more. Saturday I went out and had a great time. It was good to get out of the house. I was supposed to have practice today but I cancelled due to the weather. I wish I wouldn't have. It would have given me a reason to get out of the house. This is one of the first times where I didn't have things to keep my mind off Chrissy. I'm sure her friends are saying the same things my friends are saying. I think that's the "friend" thing to do. I've been thinking about calling and apologizing for being so apathetic. I don't know why I get that way. I guess its a character flaw. (One of many depending on who you ask)

Man what a bummer of a post. I think this would be a good time to crack a joke.
Knock, Knock... Eh, maybe not. Perhaps tomorrow I'll be in a better mood.

Thought of the Day
Snow on the first day of Spring make me love Nebraska!

Sad

I got this today. I'm very sad now! I made light of a hurtful situation so that it wouldn't hurt as much. After reading this I feel like a dick.

I realize some things are not meant to be. I guess I tricked myself into thinking if I was more understanding, and more lenient things would be better in the long run. I give everyone I know the benefit of the doubt, maybe to a fault. I make too many excuses for people when they tend to hurt me over and over.

A good friend told me today to live in the real word, not the DRAMA that is the internet.

I guess I fooled myself into thinking that if we EVER did break up it would be a nice amicable split. We would discuss how things were not working out and decide to break up, but maybe still talk once in a while. That is really FAR from what happened. Honestly I wish that I had shut my mouth and continued to be "ignorant and in bliss", but I am sure I will come to my senses soon.

I took a chance dating someone with a lot of "complications". I know I believed what ever issue came up, that we were on the same team and we could work anything out.

The past nine months have been awesome, I love mike VERRY VERRY much, and I am sad thast things ended the way they did. It is really hard when there is no way that you can put into words how much you love someone only to have them throw you aside.

I decided in the beginning I was just going to be honest, tell the whole truth and be myself. I didn't want to be with anyone long term while trying to be someone I was not.

Mike and I clicked right away. I have never had someone make me laugh as much as he did, noone ever made me feel as pretty and desirable. Noone ever made me feel more secure in myself and my abilities. I have had a lot of weird relationships, but none that were as committed
and serious as this one.

I wanted to know EVERYTHING about Mike, I wanted to be a part of his life. I wanted to know what made him tick, and what made him happy. I wanted to know the taste of his kiss and the sound of his laugh. I put everything I had into our relationship, and even though sometimes it was hard, I knew that I loved him and in the end it would be worth something.

I made huge efforts to spend time with Mike, I drove to his house in the winter when my car had no heat. I woke up at 6am just so I could wake up next to him. And it was all worth it to me. We spent a lot of nights in. We had a lot of fun nights out.

We drank cheap champagne under the stars by the lake, we laid out in a grassy field and looked at the stars. We had a lot of really awesome times that no matter if we speak again I will always remember and they will be special to me.

We went to soccer games, and even played a tournament on the same team. I didn't care how stupid I looked, I just wanted to be able to say that we were on the same team together and had a fun time. I enjoyed getting to know Mike and Nicolette as well as his co workers and the game of soccer. I went to a lot of his games and talked about a LOT of soccer, because I knew it was important to him. I met both sides of his family, and at the time I thought that meant a lot.

We have been to a lot of awesome parties, and shared a lot of fun and laughs. I have shared things with Mike that I will never share with anyone ever again. And to me that is special, no matter what the outcome was.

Mike really taught me a lot about myself, and I really do believe that he helped me become a more selfless person. I appreciate the time and patience he took in teaching me things, and I appreciate the fact that he never got frustrated or sharp tounged with me.

Most of the best times with Mike were just chilling out at home, making pizza, or spicy enchiladas and food on buns. We had a lot of time at home to get to know eachother, and there were a lot of awesome nights with the three of us.

Christmas was really special to me, I never had anyone to buy gifts for. And the night we exchanged gifts was soo awesome. Christmas day we layed around and ordered in Chinese and watched sketchy sci- fi. One of the reasons I love Mike soo much is the fact that he is an AWSOME father to his daughter. He has more patience and love for her than I have ever seen any one parent have. He puts her above everything and I know that sometimes it isn't always easy.

I was really glad when I met Mike that there was finally someone that was interested in me as much as I was in them. Just driving around in the car holding hands, and singing to Jack Johnson meant a LOT to me. I am really going to miss his laid back personaity and positive
outlook on life.

Being in a committed relationship takes a lot of time and effort. For all the time I invested and effort I gave, there just wasn't enough for him. Which makes me sad, specially the fact that no one person can give you that much attention. And it breaks my heart that I didn't make him happy and that his feelings for me faded. For me everyday with Mike made me feel more secure and more comfortable. I never spent so much time with one person, and changed my schedule to better match their needs.

I really love Mike a lot, more than I could ever put into words here. I guess I am sorry if I didn't convey that to him in a way that he understood. I didn't have "one foot in the door" I am completely in love. (Everybody knows I 'm in over my head, over my head). And I should have realized maybe he wasn't at Valentine's Day. I think I was the only girl in north America that got a card that said "Happy VD", with no I love you, or Love Mike. But once again I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

I am sad that things went sour, and I wasn't enough for him. I am pretty devastated right now, and I don't care who knows it. I would rather people knew how I felt, specially since we never know how long we are going to live.

I still love Mike and I am really really going to miss him. I am going to miss holding hands and proofreading his papers. Watching the Sunday sports extra, Conan and sketchy sci fi. It really breaks my heart that we didn't end things nicely. I am never again going to kiss him goodnight, or wake up in his arms, have him kiss my forehead in the middle of the night. Stay up till 3am "making out", watch his soccer games.

Never going to play with Nicolette and go out to dinner, help her cut up her food. I am not going to be around for her 3rd birthday, I am not going to get to see her first soccer game. And that really hurts. A lot a LOT.

Everything reminds me of Mike, every song makes me cry. I guess this all makes me seem weak, and stupid. But this is how I feel and I am going to miss a lot. What hurts even more is being with Mike for nine months and have our whole demise summed up by him in ONE paragraph.

It hurts being this upset, when I don't think it has effected him at all. I never had to really "break up" with anyone before. I don't know what to do. I want to get my things from his house, But I know that will really hurt.

I don't know what to give back, and what to throw away, or what to keep. Maybe he cheated, maybe he didn't, eitherway he wasn't sorry and gave no explanation. What hurts fivethousand times more than the thought of him cheating, is his "lukewarm" feelings for me.

I realize I may have said some hurtful things, and for that I am sorry. I would never hurt him on purpose, and if I did I feel bad about it.

I have never been so in love, I have never been with someone so smart and interesting, that made me smile and felt "right".

And it hurts, exactly like I thought it would.

Queen Without a King

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Cleaning cleaning cleaning

Hi everyone! I think I might have a problem. I think as I get older I'm getting OCD. I feel like I am cleaning all the time!

Funny story from last night. So Babymama called last night and spoke for like two minutes and then she had to go and hung up. I was like, "Eh, whatever." But then she called back! I asked her what happened. She said she had to make a call before it got too late. So then we chatted about PrincessNic and such for about 10 minutes. Then all of the sudden she said, "Oh RandomGuy is in the driveway, I have to go." I think I might have been used to keep her busy till her bootycall got there! I feel used! Who does that?!

What a day!

Oh my, I'm so worn out. Chrisy got mad after she read my blog. I don't know what to say. I want to be open and honest on here. I told her that if she reads it she not allowed to get mad. And what's the first thing she did? Got mad. She said it seemed like I was making fun of her. I didn't saying anything but what we talked about. So after that I went to Skutt. There was 40 mph wind. I love Nebraska for its beautiful weather! Actually, it was a very good practice. I'm excited about the team. We have our first game on Friday versus Columbus Scotus. Should be a test of how good we are. So anyway, after practice all of the coaches went out for lunch. We're a strange bunch. My Father called during lunch. He bitched out. He's mad because I haven't been able to get the car fixed in a timely manner. Then we went off about how I never talk to him. I don't really know what he wants. We've never talked and we're not close. I guess he'll get over it or I'll come home and my locks will be changed. Then I went back to work and had a training session for the Phoenix U11s. Fun time. And then I met Jen to have a talk. It was very productive. She said that Chirs is being well behaved. I'm happy for her. I hope things turn out well.

Thought of the Day
When Babymama tells me about guys is it because she wants to be friends or me to be jealous?

Good morning to me! Its coming up on St. Patrick's day (AKA Merry Beermas Day). Only bummer is that we have a Skutt game at 6 that night! I hope I can make it back out before all the green beer is gone. I know its hard to import from Ireland.

So yesterday I got this letter. Its from a friend I had in junior high. We sort of kept in touch (by "kept in touch" I mean spoke once or twice a year). When I went to Hastings we lost touch. Earlier this year I got an email from her asking how I was doing. Needless to say I was surprised. We had lunch and caught up on the comings and goings of the last 6 years. So we've chatted a couple more times. And then I got this letter. It basically said that she doesn’t want a fair-weather friend. But it when on for 5 handwritten pages! Ah! Who are these people. I mean I know I'm a lazy bum who doesn't have a job, school, and a kid so I have so much time.

Thought of the Day
http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/03/08/fatherhood.suit.ap/index.html
Interesting debate!

What an interesting day. Babymama took PrincessNic today. I spoke with Northern Princess about her trip to the cities. Apparently it snows a lot up there! I had Skutt practice and the ladies are very excited about the game on Friday. I wonder if they think I'm a big loser? Cause I am! I tried to fix my car but Jen kept distracting me. On the phone! (You guys have dirty minds!)

Ok, Well it was an interesting day yesterday. I chatted with Gwin about someone that is apparently more than meets the eye. Way to go! It is spring break so I don't have class. I'm like crazy bored! I'm such a loser! I had some drama yesterday, Chrissy and I had a talk. I told her I didn't like her as much as she liked me. Which is true but she didn't appreciate my honesty. Everyone wants honesty but I don't think they are ready for the truth.

Thought of the day:
What is the definition of kinky?

This is my first post. Hopefully I will have some drama to report on later.